I Have But One Wish

Universe, I want to ask you something. Would it be too much trouble if I were to die in a freak gasoline fight accident, and then be reincarnated as Violet Affleck? This is the HAPPIEST KID ON THE PLANET. The only paparazzi shots you ever see of Jennifer Garner or Ben Affleck any more are them driving Violet to school. These people are celebrities, they are busy being beautiful and wonderful and super rich, but instead of hiring a nanny, they take their daughter to school. You know how I got to school? I took THE BUS. And it smelled and all the sketchy kids were on it. And I am pretty sure she gets to hang out at all of her parents' movie sets, and just chat it up with her parents' exciting celebrity co-stars, like Mark Ruffalo and Jason Bateman and Tina Fey and Ricky Gervais. And she is so adorable that she will probably get a part in every one of her parents' movies. And Uncle Matt Damon and Casey Affleck come to visit at least once a week. And Uncle Damon probably tells her secrets about the next Bourne Movie. 

THE EXCITEMENT IS MOUNTING

Okay guys, as if I wasn't excited enough for Where The Wild Things Are (I cry every time I see the trailer) I just found out that my CELEBRITY LOOK ALIKE, James Gandolfini, is going to voice one of the characters in the movie. Which is unfortunate, because he won't be seen on the screen, and I won't get to go through a person turning to me and saying- "Wait, isn't that you on the screen?!?!??!?!!? OMG! IT'S JAMES GANDOLFINI! Guys!!!! I'm sitting next to James Gandolfini!! What? What are you saying!?? You're not James Gandolfini? How can that be?? Are you his identical twin??? Oh, there's your driver's license. Well FINE, I don't need that autograph anymore. And I was lying, I totally didn't get the end of The Sopranos and it was STUPID." But anyways, I realized that I am NOT THE ONLY ONE who is dying of anticipation for this movie which will change all of our lives. On IMDB, it is up 1,840% in popularity. WHAT WHAT. I hope that everyone reading my blog is just as excited as me and the IMDB community, because right now I just want to blog about this movie FOREVER. 

(Ed. note- I don't think I actually look like James Gandolfini, but one time I put a picture of myself in one of those celebrity look alike generators, and I guess my face looked a little round in that picture, because he was my top result. And I am still a little bitter about that because I was hoping to get fun girl celebrities.)

MAI MOVIES COMIN OUT LOOK FO ME PLEESE

Okay guys, I want you all to prepare for my big-screen debut. I AM IN THIS MOVIE. Now I must warn you, this trailer is only a taste, so try not to be too upset about the missing four-minute close-up shot of my beautiful face.  My heart cannot decide what it is more excited for, the entirety of Where The Wild Things Are, or the two seconds I may be in this movie. 

p.s. you will receive super charlie and the chocolate factory bonus points (and a blog shout out) if you can spot me in this trailer (cause I can't). I am wearing a yellow t-shirt and high-waisted jeans. And my hair is short. 

Oh, what's that? Ryan Reynolds thinks Robert Pattinson is dreamy? Oh, what's that? Filmmakers have suddenly decided they all want to do a Brokeback Mountain remake? SCORE. 

p.s. If I knew how to photoshop, there would be a fake pic of them macking on each other. But you are just going to have to hold out for that. 

Spike Jonze, My Heart Is A Fragile Thing.

Okay, so it seems as if Where The Wild Things Are has the chance to become one of my favoritest movies ever. But, I really don't need my heart to be broken when this movie isn't as awesome as the trailers and posters are. I can't be let down again :cough cough AUSTRALIA cough:. So please world, do this one thing for me, and make sure this movie makes me cry tears of joy, sadness, and from not being able to handle the wonderfulness.

YAY

If Only, If Only.

I would like you all to me my insanely adorable and fashionable and possibly gay and sassy future son. I already love him with all my heart. He is going to be my own personal (and free) stylist, also. His name is Peter. What's that? "Andrea, that kid's name is Arlo, (Ed.note-actually that is a super cool name, I can deal with that. I think it is too late to change his name without confusing him) and he is Matthew Weiner's son, not yours." WELL SHUT YOUR STUPID FACES. Maybe he isn't my child biologically, and doesn't belong to me in any way, but we are MEANT for each other, I can feel it. Are you doubting this child's wonderfulness? This is his note on the outfit he is wearing- "This is my favorite outfit. The tie is a regular tie, but I tied it like that because I've seen it done that way in old English movies." I am dropping out of school to pursue becoming this child's nanny (Or au pair! I remember there was a disney movie about that. that could work). And subsequently stealing him, of course. 

If This Happens, My Life Shall Be Complete.

Okay guys, first things that pop in your head when you hear romantic comedy? Adorable? Ice cream and nail polish? Christian Bale? Happiness? Hugh Grant?. Now guys, one of these things is not like the others. HUGH GRANT ONLY DOES SERIOUS OSCAR-CONTENDING MOVIES. Just kidding, that was a really long intro just to tell you that I have heard the love of my life is going to star in a romantic comedy. I think it make sense, considering the type of films he likes to star in. Empire of the Sun, The Machinist, American Psycho, Rescue Dawn. You know, fluffy chick-flicks. It's like when Russell Crowe did A Good Year. Remember that? Of course you don't. Actually, I can be sarcastic all I want, but truly, I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE CHRISTIAN BALE SMILE IN A MOVIE. OR JUST IN LIFE. I can already see myself in the movie theater, holding my heart and sighing every time Christian Bale says something sweet. And I would most likely be crying at the end. I AM AN EMOTIONAL PERSON, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? And it would be nice to cry in happiness at one of his movies, instead of in utter depression because he is starving to death, or he died, or there is a war where lots of peeps die, or he is a psycho and kills people. 

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING

I apologize for my snippiness in posting yesterday. I was just feeling stressed, but I wanted you guys to know that I was thinking of you. But SOMETHING SUPER EXCITING IS HAPPENING. SENIFELD REUNION!!!! I am a pretty big seinfeld fan, and I just enjoy that every single situation that ever occurs in the world can be related to a seinfeld episode. I can't think of any right now, but I may begin to sprinkle my blog with seinfeld references. This magical event will be on Curb Your Enthusiasm, which I actually never watch, but I am still PUMPED. 

(ed.note- I tagged this as "seinfeld" and it showed there was something else tagged seinfeld, and then I remembered that I HAVE been sprinkling seinfeld references. I am so fantastic, I just forget sometimes.)

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY IS LOOKING HAWT.

End of post. I'm sorry, I have papers to write AND college applications. 

Um

So I have been anxiously searching the web to find something else to write about so my last two posts wouldn't be me being a creepy watson stalker, but I can't find anything news worthy. And I have a lot of homework. So I hope I haven't frightened any of you away. This is really a wonderful blog, I would say it is a nice balance of cute and creepy. It is like that movie, Lars and The Real Girl. The concept of the movie is pretty sketchy, a man dating a sex doll, but Ryan Gosling is adorable and has all good intentions (like me!). His adorableness overpowers any slight tinge of creepy. Think of my blog and myself in that way and everything should be fine.

p.s. you can also think of me as Kip from Napoleon Dynamite, if you prefer. 

WTF, UNIVERSE?????

Listen carefully, followers. Do you hear that? A wail of despair that seems light-years away? "What is that?" you think. IT'S ME YOU IDIOTS THAT'S WHY I'M TELLING YOU. Emma watson's twitter is a FAKE. And it's not emma and all her fans who I am upset for, after they were tricked (even E! news, but then again they aren't exactly investigative journalists), I am pissed because they made a fool out of ME. I was so excited, I thought the stars were aligning and every dream I've ever had would come true. And I made a blog post about it. My blog is REPUTABLE. They have completely tarnished my image. I wish Oprah would invite this fake emma watson twitterer on her show and say "WHY DID YOU LIE TO AMERICA AND ALL THE HP FANS ACROSS THE GLOBE?" (James Frey style). Anyway, the only thing that would pull me out of this deep and dark depression would be if Emma Watson asked Brown or Yale or Oxford to let me in and then we could be roomies. 

DREAMS DO COME TRUE!!!!!!

I am your next prophet. Thank goodness you guys are already listening to what I have to say, now you are ahead of the game. I would like you all to observe my 'tweet' on February 28th at 4:23 pm. "wishing that emma watson had a twitter." OH, WHAT'S THAT E! NEWS?? SHE DOES?!!!! There is clearly only a few possible explanations for this magical occurrence. 1. I am a magical genie and my wish is the world's command, 2. emma watson is a devoted follower of my blog AND my twitter, so she created one of her own to please me, or 3. dumbledore willed it to be so. I don't care what the answer is, cause I am FRICKIN PUMPED. Except that her updates are protected so I have to wait for her to approve my request. But she definitely will because we are BFFs.

SCANDALOUS!

So this pic of Seth Rogen and etc. in the new Vanity Fair brings me back. I purchased the old issue, at the time I was a big Keira/Scarlett fan. However, many called me a creepster. I even had to have a friend buy it for me because my parents were perpetually frightened that I would become a lesbian(but I do think scojo could posses that power over me). But I have to say it is kind of lame that Seth Rogen's posse are all wearing bodysuits. I would not mind seeing Jason Segel without one. OH SNAP. I bet Keira and Scarlett wished they could have had bodysuits! and Rachel Mcadams probably wouldn't have flaked out if that was the case. And I could have lived without being judged. 

As I have said before, I LOVE A GOOD TRAILER.

Okay guys, so I know that I may have made my last post a movie trailer, but I got super chills watching this and I just want to share it with everyone. I am SO GLAD I forgave Christian Bale, cause this movie looks FRICKIN AWESOME. I hope they have a midnight release. Oooh, that would be wonderful. Sorry if this blog has turned into me just being super excited about movies coming out, but what can I say, that is who I am.

I LOVE A GOOD TRAILER.

I am super excited to see this movie. It seems just TOO CUTE. However, I have to ask myself if the producers of "Little Miss SUNSHINE" have so little imagination. "SUNSHINE Cleaning"? Alan Arkin playing the lovable but inappropriate old guy? I'm on to you, Jeb Brody and Bob Dohrmann. But I am still pumped because Amy Adams and Emily Blunt are adorable and I wish I was their third sister. 

BEGIN YOUR CELEBRATIONS.

It's me. I'm back. YAY. 

Okay guys, I just want to apologize profusely for having a lot of homework/temporarily losing interest in my blog. but no worries! I have returned and I will summarize all the important things that happened in my life during my hiatus. I went to the gym and worked out while watching Inside the Actor's Studio with Hugh Jackman, I decorated my labtop with Winnie the Pooh stickers, Emma Watson got into Yale, I ate about 27 hot cross buns, I considered submitting my single ladies video into the contest(I decided to give other people a chance instead), and frickin Hosea won top chef, WTF. There, you guys have gotten your quick fix and can resume your lives feeling revitalized and renewed.