Universe, I want to ask you something. Would it be too much trouble if I were to die in a freak gasoline fight accident, and then be reincarnated as Violet Affleck? This is the HAPPIEST KID ON THE PLANET. The only paparazzi shots you ever see of Jennifer Garner or Ben Affleck any more are them driving Violet to school. These people are celebrities, they are busy being beautiful and wonderful and super rich, but instead of hiring a nanny, they take their daughter to school. You know how I got to school? I took THE BUS. And it smelled and all the sketchy kids were on it. And I am pretty sure she gets to hang out at all of her parents' movie sets, and just chat it up with her parents' exciting celebrity co-stars, like Mark Ruffalo and Jason Bateman and Tina Fey and Ricky Gervais. And she is so adorable that she will probably get a part in every one of her parents' movies. And Uncle Matt Damon and Casey Affleck come to visit at least once a week. And Uncle Damon probably tells her secrets about the next Bourne Movie.
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